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- Tuesday Has No Feel
Tuesday Has No Feel
The beard situation, X doesn't mark the spot, and vampires...
“You know, we're living in a society!”
Sometimes I feel like social media has destroyed our ability to talk to one another. I’ll give you a specific example. Last week on Facebook, I posted the following on my personal account:
Wroclaw friends! I started growing a beard and the reviews are in! "The most interesting thing to happen to Christian's face in decades!"
Unfortunately, it's gotten a little out of control. So I need to find a barber for the first time in 27(!) years.
I've done some research already, but I'd love to hear any of your recommendations for barbers in Wroclaw who know how to work a beard!
Also, in the interest of science, I posted a recent photo of myself with the beard so that people would understand “my situation”:
It’s almost been a week since I posted. And here are the results:
• 51 likes/32 comments.
• Confirmation that my beard is "looking good" and that I “look cool.”
• Pics of people’s husbands with their beards.
• Pics of people I look like.
• Opinions on the current beard trend.
• Associations to beards and countries that "are not necessarily famous for democracy and respect for the rights of every person."
• Opinions on the burrito.
• Questions about where to get the said burrito.
• Pictures of suggested beard styles.
• A video of how to braid it "Viking style."
I still have no idea about where to get my beard trimmed.1
“What you call wasting, I call living. I’m living my life!”
Since Twitter became X (or did it?), there's a lot of confusion about how to use the new jargon. Here's a quick guide to get you started.
Have you read “The All-inclusive Vampire”?
★★★★★8 months ago
Just got back last night. My wife and I had an amazing ten days in Greece. This was the first time we ever treated ourselves to an all-inclusive resort and this one did not disappoint. The island is a little out of the way and smaller than I expected, but the resort more than makes up for it.
Response from the owner
Thanks for sharing your experience with us, Carol. We are glad you had a nice time, and we look forward to seeing you again.
Angeleeta S.
★★★5 months ago
The food was great, the beach was great, and the weather was perfect. The only reason I’m not giving the resort 5 stars is that our vacation was cut short because my husband was killed by a vampire. He went missing on the third day and was found on the beach completely drained of blood and dried like beef jerky. The kids were naturally upset because they couldn’t swim anymore. It would have been nice if someone would have mentioned the vampire. Other than that, great service!
Response from the owner
Again, our apologies, Angeleeta. We can assure you the vampire has been taken care of and that there is no threat of vampire attacks in the future. Thank you for your review.
John P.
★★★★★
5 months ago
I cannot recommend the resort enough. The service was impeccable and don’t even get me started on all the food. I had the best 10 days of my life there. Be warned, the island is insanely hot in the summer!
Response from the owner
Thanks for sharing your experience with us, John. We are glad you had a nice time, and we look forward to seeing you again.
Sean M.
★
4 months ago
THERE’S A VAMPIRE? WTF!!
“I’m gonna show you what it’s like!”
Do you know what must be nice? Having the time and energy to be angry at a movie aimed at kids. I can’t imagine. But there has been something particularly entertaining about watching grown men spend hours raging about Barbie.
You might remember how I spent the majority of last week’s newsletter complaining about the latest Indiana Jones movie, but I wasn’t angry about it (and I hope it didn’t come across that way). Despite not enjoying the movie, I could still recognize the things the movie did right. Plus, I readily accept that maybe these movies really aren’t for me anymore.
But watching everyone go apeshit over Barbie (and fragile billionaires swearing they will never wear pink!) is something else entirely.
“They're good people. They do good things, they READ.”
We are a few weeks away from the release of my newest book.
If you’ve read SMASHED and GO WEST and wondered when I was going to get around to writing about DC comics, then you’re going to appreciate “Holy Heimat, Batman!” and “Rebooting Distortions”.
If you’re a fan of Mark Z, Danielewski’s HOUSE OF LEAVES like I am, you might enjoy getting lost in the 50-page essay - “Exploring House of Leaves” - and the two other supplementary essays that are HoL adjacent.
If you’re interested in a different take on the writing styles of Stephen King, Kurt Vonnegut, and Hunter S. Thompson, then “Postmodernist Metafiction” might be your thing.
Some of these essays are irreverent and funny (and maybe even a little heartbreaking - I’m looking at you, “Holy Heimat, Batman!”) while others are more academically-minded (as they were previously published in academic journals).
NOTES FROM PARASPACE will be available on August 15.
